Secondly, there’s the matter of buttholes-namely, the butthole of each participant.
Pile driver position full#
You can’t even give directions because you literally have a mouth full of dick. And then there’s the fact that it’s kind of impossible to enjoy oral when you’re focused on also giving good oral at the same time. So, assuming your hookup is a respectable height, there’s the chance you’ll end up at the doctor with lockjaw. The only way to avoid hyperextending your lower mandible is to be twisting yourself around some dude who’s significantly shorter than you, and… I mean… ew. If you’re doing it right, your partner isn’t going to be flaccid, meaning he’ll be jamming it down (or up-I leave that up to you) your throat in a way that’s going to force your jaw into a dangerously uncomfortable position. Now that that’s done, let’s break down the practicalities that make this oft-referenced position an actual nightmare. But let’s be real, some sex trends, like any trend, are just embarrassing and you should probably never admit you tried them-just like how you should burn all your pictures from the time you shaved half your head and thought exposing the strip of torso above your belly button was cute. So hold on to your lube-coated ankles, because I’m here to de-mystify some of culture’s most overrated sex positions-the ones that everyone pretends to love when in reality they’re boring/uncomfortable/outright weird. Dropping sugar cubes and knowledge as an old lady like you once dropped that ass. When you’re a wrinkly and crusty old lady, you want to be able to set the grandbabies down for tea and regale them with tales of your golden era as a sexually adventurous, totally bangable piece.
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